i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize