Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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