I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
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It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
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i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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