White coat. Heels.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
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I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
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Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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