Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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