Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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