It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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