shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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