what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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