If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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