I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
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I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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