She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
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