so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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