She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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