they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
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