i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize