dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize