Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize