Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
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