I wannas sexs uuuuu
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize