He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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