I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
You left your phone here
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