Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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