Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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