I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
You are a genius and a whore.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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