I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
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Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
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If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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