so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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