what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize