just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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