She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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