She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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