No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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