i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize