Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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