I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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