Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
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he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
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I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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