This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
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