just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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