I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
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Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
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he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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