These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize