I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
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I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
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I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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