You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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