mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
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I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
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whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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