What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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