I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize