worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize