Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize