i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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