He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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