so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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